Loneliness

These past two weeks, I have never felt more lonely in life. I have one close friend in school who barely hangs out with me because they have a boyfriend, which leaves me with basically no one to hang out with. I know, from the sound of this, I sound like I’m just complaining about something that’s very trivial. I have no problems eating alone or studying alone but without friendship or love, I find myself having too much time on my hands and I sink into loneliness and self-pity (something I always hated when people do).

In the midst of all this, I recently kind of made a new friend. That sounds like such a good turnaround of events BUT let me just try to describe our entire relationship so you get a clearer idea of how it really is like. It is kind of like I’m holding out my hand and the rain is pouring and I even offer my umbrella but this person just won’t take any of it. I’ve never dealt with a more difficult friendship. We attend the same math class but besides math, we don’t hang out. I’ve tried asking this person to go out with me and I didn’t get rejected but it just didn’t work out. I’ve also tried to text this person about something OTHER than math, but the conversation either just fizzled out or I just got ignored. This person is a very shy person and I can understand that he isn’t the best conversation-starter but I’ve just felt like I’ve been really trying to become better friends with him, only for him to not reciprocate. At this point, I’m unsure of what I should do… Should I just be more bubbly and put on a bright smile and strike up conversations with him? Or should I just continue being shy as well? I’m someone who follows the dynamics of the friendship just as how the other person sets it. That means, if the other person is shy, I’ll be shy. However, if the other person is bubbly and talkative, I can be like that too.

I guess I was getting so annoyed with all the people around me (or NOT around me) that I was blaming everyone for not being better friends or always having someone else as a priority before me. But I was thinking about all this over the last two days and realized I forgot how I always told myself (and others) that if a person can’t be content with being alone, then he/she will never be content being with others. I asked myself why I’m beating others up for not spending time with me? Clearly, it’s because I don’t like spending time with myself, and if I don’t even like spending time with myself, how would others want to spend time with me?

Just like that, I felt a lot better…not because I didn’t feel lonely anymore, but because I dropped all my expectations of others and was surprised every time someone actually did talk to me. I don’t know if this is a good way to deal with friendship but I think it’s a good start. I’m not going to give up making friends just because others are caught up with other stuff, of course. I guess friendship has to be sought after and not all friendships come easy. Most importantly, I figured there really is no point in having self-pity because you end up rejecting the few people who actually want to be there for you. OH, and also always be yourself in front of others and never try to be someone you’re not because I might have made that mistake too. It just confuses you and confuses others. Lastly, I guess making this post has lifted a little bit of the burden and loneliness off my chest and I hope you enjoyed reading! 😀

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Differences between America and Singapore

Hey! I’m on a roll here because my last post was like a couple days ago. It’s my holiday now that’s why. Anyway…if you’re reading this, and have read my previous posts, you should be able to tell that I’ve done some upgrades to my blog page! Yay!! It doesn’t look as boring now and I’ve added a whole new page theme to it and I like this way better. As you can tell from the title of this post, it’s gonna be about the differences between America and Singapore! As someone who has lived in both countries for an extended period of time, I’ve found MANY differences in lifestyle, culture, food, communication style, etc. between America and Singapore so here are some of the main differences…

Cashier chat

  1. The thing that struck me the most when I first arrived and came into contact with actual American people would probably be the fact that they are sooo chatty. That’s not in a bad way by the way. However, as someone who was born and raised in the concrete city of Singapore where people pretty much mind their own business and everyone is so cold towards strangers, the chattiness of Americans kind of shocked me. It’s not like they say hi to everyone walking along a crowded street but it’s more like if you’re ever in a lift (elevator as Americans call it) with one other person and it’s all awkward, they might talk to you and be like “How’s it going?”. If you go to checkout at the cashier no matter where it is you’re shopping at, the cashier will most probably go, “Hi, how are you? Finding everything good so far?”. In Singapore, the cashier auntie won’t even try to pretend like she wants to know how your day went. As a Singaporean, I honestly can’t say I like the chattiness because I am a city person who likes to mind their own business and being chatty with strangers is just…strange.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Safeway
  2. THERE ARE NO SKYSCRAPERS HERE. Okay that’s not true, there are skyscrapers in ‘Downtown’ areas. Those areas are like the ‘City’ areas and they literally only have tall buildings in those areas. I’m not kidding. Around here where I live, I can’t think of any building that is more than 2 stories high. All the buildings are short but cover a huge area and shopping areas consist of separate buildings of different shops. For example, Target will be on its own and then Safeway will be on its own. I guess only legit malls where there are high-street stores are somewhat tall. They are maybe 3 stories high? Like I’ve said, I am a city person and I LOVE tall buildings cluttered together and like at night when all the lights turn on, it’s so beautiful…but here, I rarely get to see that.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                House
  3. Housing prices vary soo drastically. In Singapore, certain areas would be more expensive too no doubt but here, the housing prices vary so much because of the school district that the area falls in. Over here in America, kids can’t just go to any High School that they want. They can only go to the High School near where they live because those district lines have been drawn and each district has it’s own union of schools. So of course, if that school district is a really good one, EVERYONE is gonna flock there and drive up the housing prices. of course that’s not the only factor, but it is one of the main factors.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 fast-food-logos
  4. Food here is very standard. What I mean is, I can’t feel any authenticity in the food here…sorry America. In Singapore, we are known for having hawker centers with all different kinds of food and the stalls are not like chain stores with branding and stuff. In America, there are no hawker like places, although there are food courts but the stuff they sell are always the same (around here in the Bay Area anyway). The Japanese food they sell are like pseudo-authentic and they put the same teriyaki sauce on everything. Chinese food tastes the same in food courts and at Panda Express (a really popular Chinese food chain). Vietnamese food I’ve heard is pretty authentic but I mean the menu is the same everywhere you go. Everything just tastes like…the same anywhere you go. There isn’t really an element of authenticity where food is concerned even they sell many different kinds of cuisine here. Most of them are already altered to suit the American palette. I miss my SG food so much 😦                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Basic
  5. People are not as fashion-forward! This is also partially true but this is what I’ve noticed (for girls anyway)… Girls dress pretty shabbily in sweatshirts and sweatpants when they go to school it’salmost as if it’s like a trend to look like you just rolled out of bed. However, when they want to look good, they really look good. Like if you go to those Downtown areas on a Friday night, you’ll see girls dressed really pretty in long dresses and their poppin’ American-style chiseled makeup. In Singapore, I feel like okay maybe people are like t
    hat too…actually idk leave a comment if you know because I haven’t been back in awhile. The overall sentiment is that people definitely dress more trendy on the daily when they go out and stuff, even going to school.

So…this is the end of my post! I got tired writing this haha maybe I’ll go take a nap now YEEEEEESS. Bye friends!

Direction of this blog?

Hey, for all of you (Tiong) out there who have been asking me why I haven’t posted in so long…Here is my next post! As the title suggests, I’m not sure where this blog is going but I’m not about to give up on it AGAIN. Umm, I guess I kind of want this blog to just be all over the place now, just a platform to house anything that I feel or think, just so I can capture my thoughts-of-the-moment.

Recently, I’ve had more time to myself with the start of my Summer holidays…and… I’m really having a blast hahaha. Sometimes I feel like I really wanna start a youtube vlog channel because I really do like to share my thoughts and my life, even though it’s not that interesting…but I think about it, and I’m like nah. I guess I won’t be too comfortable knowing that anyone I am acquaintances with will look into my life and stuff and if they see me in real life, it’s gonna be awkward.

Anyway, lately I’ve been a happy girl except my mom has had stomach issues and we still can’t find the cause of it. She’s done endoscopy, took a biopsy, CT scan and gone to the doctor so many times, and each time they just diagnose her with stomach inflammation that does not seem to be going away. Sigh. I really miss the times when I feel like my parents are like mountains and were capable of anything. Now, I’m just getting more and more worried and I think this is probably why people always say being an adult is hard…it’s the RESPONSIBILITIES and witnessing your parents getting old which is pretty heartbreaking. I guess my parents are going through that stage in their lives now where they worry about their parents’ health and feel guilty for not spending enough time with them. Someday that stage is gonna happen to me and I’m not ready for it. *Cries*

Meh this post was boring and I’m sorry for anyone reading this cos it’s boring! I’ll try bringing nicer content back! BYEZZZ

What is a Community College?

Welcome back to my blog! This post will be a little more personal just because I’ve been meaning to get this message out for maybe a year now and have had some difficulty trying to put all my emotions into words. This post only applies to Community Colleges in the state of California.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION (skip if you already know how a CC works):

If you’re not aware or you don’t know me, I am currently pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and I’m starting off by spending some time at a community college. If you don’t know what a Community College is, let me break it down for you. A Community College is a 2-year college in the United States (for me at least) that offers various Associate Degrees. An Associate Degree is a step down from an undergraduate Bachelor’s Degree. The thing about Community Colleges that attract people is that anyone (as long as it is legal for you to study in the US) can enroll in the college to work towards a degree if they want to. There is no regulation of any sort that normal Universities might have where they need to see your application, results, resume and pick students for admission. Hence, there are no barriers to admission to a community college. Even international students can come join as long as they take more than 12 units of courses (or any amount that the college indicates) every quarter to maintain their “full-time student” status.

Here is the really cool thing about joining a CC (let’s use this abbreviation from now)…after 2 years (typically), you get to apply to transfer to an actual University that has an articulation agreement with your CC. This includes all California State Universities and University of California branches (UC Berkeley, UCLA, etc.). I’m speaking from a Californian system point of view. Systems may vary according to the state in which you are attending a CC. And many may think, “Oh so after you transfer, you need to spend an additional 4 years of university…so in total that would add up to 6 years of college education?” The answer is NO. After transferring to a University of choice, you will only (typically) need to do the REMAINING 2 years of your university education because you’ve already completed the FIRST 2 years at your CC.

MY EXPERIENCE:

I want to start from the very beginning. The very first time I heard the term ‘Community College’, I just thought, “Nah. I wouldn’t go there.” I’m going to be completely honest, Community College doesn’t sound like the most prestigious place to be and especially to a Singapore-native like me, it just didn’t seem appetizing at all. About a year and a half ago, I would’ve never thought I’d be here at De Anza College pursuing my Bachelor’s Degree and that’s because I was someone who thought I was better than this and I’ve always kept the notion that I’d sail through my life, going to a normal University like all of my peers back in Singapore are right now. I am a different person now with a drastically different goal and perspective on this issue now.

To give you an idea of how I was like before coming to De Anza College, I will tell you about my educational background. I am from Singapore and it’s a very small country with one of the highest standards of overall education in the world. We are all very academically competitive people to say the least. Growing up, I’ve always thought I wanted to be a doctor. I would’ve said it wasn’t because of the prestige, but part of me knew I was lying. My educational journey was great until Junior College. Junior College isn’t a very universal concept, so let’s just say it’s not high school but it’s not college either, but Singaporeans either had to go to JC (Junior College) or go to a Polytechnic. Most “overachievers” went the JC route because it offers a more secure route for people who wanted to go to a University. I attended Raffles Institution and I’m not bragging or anything, but it was considered the best Junior College (or maybe 2nd best if you like HCJC better) in Singapore. I got in because I did really well on my O Level examination.

Now, when it came to choosing my subject combination in RI (Raffles Institution), I chose a very science-based combination because I knew that it would allow me to pursue any career, whether it’s in the medical field, law, sciences, arts. etc. Choosing a more artsy combination, on the other hand, wouldn’t allow me to pursue Medicine or the sciences. Even though I knew that I preferred other more artsy subjects over Physics and Chemistry, I took the science subjects anyway because I thought I was a genius at the time and I thought I could handle it and pass with FLYING colors.

It turns out, I was horrible at the sciences and hated it. Halfway through JC, I realized that I wasn’t made to do Physics and Chemistry but it was KINDA too late too just change subjects. Needless to say, I ultimately flunked out of the national A Levels examination which was what Universities would look at to see whether or not to accept you. Please also note that besides my academic struggles, I was struggling with my family moving away from Singapore and settling in the US (BAY AREA LEMME HEAR YOU). It was a difficult time for me. AND ON TOP OF ALL THIS, I had no goals because I had no idea what kind of career I wanted to pursue. I felt so unmotivated and if you know how this feels, you know how hard it is. All I wanted to do was sleep. I slept any chance I got and my aunt, whom I was living with at the time, told every relative that I was an avid sleeper. It wasn’t that I loved sleeping, but that was coping mechanism. I needed an escape from all my troubles.

So after I received my horrible A Level results, I was literally at rock bottom. The worst of the worst had happened- no University in Singapore wanted to take me. I didn’t even try applying for Business Administration at any local University because I just KNEW they wouldn’t take me. I applied to do Real Estate at the National University of Singapore (NUS) and even after appealing, they didn’t accept me. So I was left with 2 choices. It was either applying to some other major at a local university that I knew I would get accepted to but I didn’t feel passionate about, or up and move to California to go to De Anza College. Of course, I chose the latter and have not regretted my decision once.

Beyond getting to major in something I really liked, I personally feel like coming to the US has changed my life in a way that I’m now exposed to a whole different culture, work ethic and all sorts of great individuals. Back in Singapore, I was living in my own little bubble and it’s a small country so everyone knew everyone else and I didn’t know anything besides what I was taught in school. All throughout my life, the emphasis has always been on academics and nothing much else. Everyone did everything for the prestige and very few actually had passion and professionalism.

Coming to the US, I started joining clubs and campaign organizations and volunteered my time to various organizations. At first, it was because I needed all this on my resume, but as time passed and I started learning so much so quickly about this new community, I found myself becoming much more involved and more outspoken. I got elected as the Public Relations officer for the De Anza Marketing Club after an intense election session and I loved hearing different people’s stories and their successes and failures. People really are very outspoken and fluent in communication around here. I even started being involved in a political campaign which is so unlike my old-self. I was apathetic to politics in the past. I gained so much new knowledge that couldn’t be spoonfed to me from inside a classroom.

The bottom-line is, I have a totally different goal now and am still learning how to be the best Business student I can be and a much better individual than I was before. I am now a strong advocate for always doing what makes YOU passionate and never doing anything for the money, the prestige, or because of expectations. I also realized that the value of a Community College lies in the fact that it provides education for anyone and everyone who wishes to pursue it, which is exactly what we should work towards. Everyone deserves higher education, whether they have the “qualifications” or not. Life is all about learning and we should be given the chance to learn if we want to. School fees are also much cheaper here and that’s to cater to the lower-income students needs. With rising University tuition fees, many are left with few options when it comes to getting a college education and a huge purpose of a CC is to provide education to those who can’t afford it anywhere else.

I will start to apply to various UCs in the Fall and will be transferring to some UC (depends on who accepts me) next year to further my university education. I urge those of you who have met similar difficulties like I did to consider coming here (DE ANZA COLLEGE) to pursue your degree. It is a great place, trust me and if anyone has any questions or comments…leave them below! I’ll leave some links to the best CCs in California down below so check them out if you want!

Best Community Colleges in California:

  1. http://www.deanza.edu/
  2. https://www.dvc.edu/
  3. https://www.foothill.edu/index.php

How do you feel about religion?

***SENSITIVE TOPIC READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Let’s start off this topic by putting things into context. There are many different religion in the world. I am a free-thinker and I’m also somewhat Atheist so I don’t know everything under the sun about every religion. However, this post isn’t about digging the virtues of each religion. In fact, I am not going to be talking about any religion in particular. What I want to convey is a broad idea or an argument and that is people should not be given or “labeled” with a religion the moment they are born.

As a Singaporean, I know for a fact that on my birth certificate, there is a little box where your parents can fill up your religion when you are born. Mine is ‘Buddhist’ and there is nothing wrong with that except I did not know and still don’t know what Buddhism encompasses. For the longest time, I told my friends I was Buddhist because it was written in my birth certificate. At this point, I implore you to find out what yours is written as on your own BC, if you don’t already know. Is it then accurate?

The way I see it, to have a religion means that one has accomplished these two things:

  1. Understand the in and outs of the religion and what it stands for
  2. Believe in the religion

What I mean by understanding the in and outs of the religion is for instance, if you’re a Christian, then maybe you should have read The Bible, understand the morals it contains, maybe go to church and have knowledge about the key figures that come with the religion as well as its teachings. You get the point.

Next, believing in a religion has to come AFTER understanding the religion. Without knowing what a religion is about, one will not even have anything to believe in. After understanding a religion, then one should ponder over it and as they say, receive a “calling” for it. This is where you believe in the religion. You believe in its values, virtues, the history of it and of course, the existence of a higher power which that particular religion acknowledges.

With that said, if we think about a new-born baby, is a new born baby able to accomplish both those steps that one needs to take towards acquiring a religion? The answer is, of course, NO. If the answer is no, a baby is unable to fully grasp the concept of religion and accomplish those two tasks prior to having a religion, then they should NOT be given a religion because religion is not concrete and does not “run in the blood”. You can say someone is Chinese at birth, because it’s their ancestry. You can say someone is a boy or a girl, because it’s biological. However, religion is not something that is biological or something that can be passed down like ancestry. Religion comes with spiritual enlightenment, which is something one can only acquire on their own.

I’ve had some counterarguments like religion teaches morals and that’s very important for young kids to learn, even if they don’t understand the religion they’ve been “labeled” with. To that I say, someone who is Atheist or a freethinker has morals as well. Different religion all teach somewhat the same morals such as “be a good person”. Hence, is there a difference whether your parents labeled you as Christian, or Catholic, or Buddhist? Because they ALL teach you morals. If that’s your argument, then why do you believe in Christianity and not any other religion? Because many religion teach the same set of moral values. The difference between each religion is more like the different figures of higher power. The reason for choosing to be one religion over another is a person’s belief in the existence of that religion’s higher power. It doesn’t have to apply to only the belief in a different higher power. It could also be like in Buddhism there is reincarnation but that’s not the same for Christianity. The bottom line is, morals is not reason enough to label a child a certain religion because what normal child is able to be spiritually enlightened? Please ENLIGHTEN me. Geddit?

All I’m saying is, religion is spiritual. In all respect for every religion under the sun, I’m sure they each have great teachings. However, young children more often than not have that familial pressure put on them to conform to a certain religion since they first come out of the womb. The most devoted Christians I know only accepted Christianity after understanding it and then believing in it and were not born to Christianity. On the contrary, all of the people I am friends with who are born into a religion know very little about their religion even though they’ve been part of that religion all their life. How can you be proud to say that you’re part of something when you don’t even know what it encompasses?

Comment your serious thoughts if you have any!

Introduction to my page

Hello I’m Jia Ying and welcome to my page. I thought I should remain anonymous but I just decided that I won’t because that would force me to NOT write stupid stuff that would get me judged. But anyhow, I created this page as a sort of journal but not the kind where you write about how your day went. It’s gonna be more like my thoughts on some issues that not many people have brought up. This could be anything related to beauty, politics, religion, gender and anything else I think of along the way. If you’re being invited to my page by yours truly, feel honored. If you’re just a stranger who happened to chance upon my page, then I hope you will take the time to read my posts and share your thoughts…but only if you want. Mean comments aren’t ideal but I don’t think uneducated people would be attracted to my site anyway. BURNNN.